As summer swings into high gear, I prepare to mark my second anniversary in my current position.
These two years have offered me the best education I could ever imagine, experiences that allow me to grow continually, and stability in my work life.
As of late, I’m feeling the itch to continue my education or experience some kind of change, this could stem from the fact I haven’t lived in one place for more than a year since I was a young adolescent. I love change, things in flux, and challenges. I thrive on deadlines, on stressful experiences, the new-job learning curve; I’m a glutton for it. It’s not like that doesn’t happen currently but everything feels too safe.
Don’t get me wrong I love my job, my colleagues, and the institution I work at. I look at my colleagues and some are marking their thirtieth anniversary at the Museum – that scares the blank out of me. I know the time will come where I’ll need to move on, but I feel like if I did – I’d betray them and this place – but I understand it’s totally unrealistic for me to think I could stay here for my whole career. Maybe that reveals something about my working environment – in this unfamiliar community where I can count my friends on part of one hand– my job is my identity, I work (and I’m sure many of you do too) more than a full-time job (which I do because I value this place and what we give this community) this position has wedged its way into almost all aspects of my life. My neighbors know me, a trip to the grocery store in the scrubbiest of clothing is always met with a familiar face; anonymity I once found so comforting is gone.
Grappling with this, I’ve looked into different graduate programs, each of them offering more questions than answers, I’ve talked with my director but I haven’t come to a solution. I don’t know what the right answer is, I’ve heard over and over that right is rarely the easy way. I just don’t know how I’d reconcile this with my high-esteemed colleagues or myself.
Advice or similar experiences, please share.